I Remember When…

I remember when I thought I had my life all figured out. I knew how things were meant to unfold and the point at which key milestones will be achieved. 

Or so I thought. 

I remember when it all came crashing down. 

I remember a time when I was so confused by people giving testimony about praying for money and visa. 

I remember when I would fast and pray…all for money and visa. 

I remember when I had less than N20,000 to my name, when I had to give out my Blackberry because I could no longer afford the monthly subcription and I had to do away with every day things that I used to take for granted like going to the salon, going to the cinema etc, simply because they had become luxuries. 

I remember when Agege bread and Gino tomato paste were lifesavers, on many nights when my tummy would rumble and howl. 

It reminds me of a conversation I had recently where a friend expressed her dislike for Agege bread. I smiled. Who was I to abuse Agege bread whether it tasted like suffering or not? For many months, it was my comfort food in the wildnerness. 

I remember when I would pray earnestly for God to give me a car, to give me a high paying job, to take me out of the suffering I believed I was immersed in. 

I remember when I will cry to God to make the ‘man of my interest’ fall in love with me and we will get married. 

I smile as I write this because I prayed that prayer for not just one man but three! Lord have mercy. 

I remember when I desired to travel abroad and I spoke to God about it. 

I remember praying to have a better relationship with my mum and to restore my family. I was tired of the brokeness and the hustle. 

I remember praying desperately for God to take away the shame and guilt of past sins because the burden of it weighed me down and it was indeed a stronghold. 

I remember when all I could do was trust God, in the hopeless moments, in the times when I couldn’t see the way forward, in the periods when darkness enveloped me so that I just could not see the light. 

I remember it all. 

But I remember how God turned things around…just like that. 

How that from eating Agege bread, I started to eat bread from Spar and other ‘luxury bread’. 

I see myself now, going from one Uber to the next. I can’t even remember the last time I took a bus or bike, not because I am bigger than any of these forms of transporation but because I can now afford something better. 

I remember when I drove to Church in my mum’s car. How nice it was to be in the driver’s seat!

How can I forget how God made it possible for me to travel to two countries in two different continents in the space of two weeks? 

How about how He delivered me from the guilt and shame that I felt, or how He filled my life with so much hope that the depth of my faith today even shocks me. 

Oh, I forgot to add that I now have all sorts of food delivered to me. I can eat in any restaurant I choose (at least the reasonably priced ones) and I simply cannot remember what Gino tomato paste tastes like! 

For everything in life, there is a time and a season. 

Are you feeling the pressure of life weighing on you, wondering when the answer to your prayer will come? 

Don’t worry. Just trust God. 

In a little while, you will look back and testify that God saw you through. 

Even though I don’t have a car of my own yet and there are a number of prayers that I am still expecting answers to, I no longer fill my mind with worry concerning them. Why? God has everything absolutely under control. 

What I do instead is to thank Him. I worship Him because He is God. I spend time in fellowship with Him, eager to listen, eager to learn, eager to know what’s next in His agenda.

Whatever you are going through now, remember that God is good and He is a faithful Father. 

Remember that He loves you and the God who has delivered so many in the past (inculding you) will not forget you.

Remember His only Son. Remember the sacrifice. Remember, He cares.